{"id":45788,"date":"2018-12-24T08:53:57","date_gmt":"2018-12-24T08:53:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.documentaria.ro\/content\/?p=45788"},"modified":"2019-03-26T11:07:18","modified_gmt":"2019-03-26T11:07:18","slug":"erau-si-ei-tineri-17-documentaria","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.documentaria.ro\/content\/archives\/45788","title":{"rendered":"ERAU \u0218I EI TINERI 17 \/ DOCUMENTARIA"},"content":{"rendered":"

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ERAU \u0218I EI TINERI<\/span><\/h2>\n
fotografii \u0219i interviu de Andrei Pungovschi<\/span><\/h5>\n

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Dac\u0103 ai sta de vorb\u0103 cu p\u0103rin\u021bii\u00a0t\u0103i tineri, ce ai schimba la cum te-au crescut?<\/em><\/p>\n

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Georgiana, 31 de ani, consilier pentru dezvoltare personal\u0103 \u0219i antreprenor. Bucure\u0219ti, iulie 2018.<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

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\u00cen primul r\u00e2nd ei doi nu se-n\u021belegeau. Tata era cu cariera, iar mama cu problemele cu mama ei sau cu faptul c\u0103 emo\u021biile ei nu erau ascultate sau nevoile ei nu erau \u00eemplinite \u0219i era o senza\u021bie de haos acas\u0103. Pe de alt\u0103 parte am fost l\u0103sat\u0103 foarte liber\u0103 \u0219i am putut s\u0103 ies afar\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 joc \u0219i s\u0103-mi g\u0103sesc prieteni cu care s\u0103 am o rela\u021bie bun\u0103. Fiecare era cu ale lui. Nu eram ca o familie. Asta probabil c\u0103 mi-a afectat rela\u021biile de cuplu. Copiii \u00een general copiaz\u0103 p\u0103rin\u021bii. \u0218i multe lucruri le-am luat de la mama. De exemplu nu \u0219tiam s\u0103-mi cer scuze sau voiam s\u0103 am dreptate. Sau eram ca tata, prea ra\u021bional\u0103 \u0219i atunci \u00een rela\u021biile pe care le-am avut, comport\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 ca ei am ajuns s\u0103 am conflicte \u0219i s\u0103 ajung la desp\u0103r\u021bire p\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eencep s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021b singur\u0103 despre mine \u0219i emo\u021biile mele \u0219i s\u0103 trec eu printr-un proces de terapie s\u0103 spunem. De autocunoa\u0219tere. Am citit \u0219i m-am f\u0103cut bine singur\u0103. Am citit, am fost la cursuri, am fost la workshopuri \u0219i, \u00eencet-\u00eencet, am con\u0219tientizat lucruri \u0219i, \u00eencet-\u00eencet, am sc\u0103pat de lucrurile astea care nu ajut\u0103 \u00een rela\u021bii. Chiar m-a ajutat terapia.<\/p>\n

Mai mult a\u0219 schimba felul \u00een care se raportau ei la ei \u00een\u0219i\u0219i, fiindc\u0103 dac\u0103 erau ei mai bine cu ei, ar fi fost mai bine \u0219i cu mine. Asta e credin\u021ba mea de baz\u0103. \u021ain minte c\u0103 mama avea o rela\u021bie foarte conflictual\u0103 cu mama ei care se b\u0103ga \u00een via\u021ba noastr\u0103 \u0219i era \u00eempotriva tat\u0103lui. \u00cel f\u0103cea \u00een toate felurile pe el sau pe familia lui. \u0218i ar fi putut probabil, printr-un proces cu ea, s\u0103 pun\u0103 mai multe limite. Pentru c\u0103 era destul de toxic\u0103 \u0219i ne-a afectat via\u021ba. \u0218i ne-a afectat \u0219i rela\u021bia cu tata. Tot \u00een leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu ea \u021bin minte c\u0103 \u021bipa de multe ori \u0219i asta cred c\u0103 \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 nu era auzit\u0103 \u0219i exagera. Cred c\u0103 de fapt ea nu se asculta pe ea. Dac\u0103 s-ar fi ascultat mai mult pe ea, poate \u0219i ceilal\u021bi ar fi ascultat-o. Tata cred c\u0103 a pus un mare accent pe munc\u0103 \u0219i pe rela\u021biile lui la lucru \u0219i pe dezvoltarea lui \u00een carier\u0103. Asta l-a f\u0103cut s\u0103 fie mult timp departe sau obosit c\u00e2nd venea acas\u0103. Poate asta a\u0219 fi schimbat – s\u0103 dea importan\u021b\u0103 \u0219i altor p\u0103r\u021bi din via\u021ba lui. Cum e familia. Sau prietenii.<\/p>\n

Mama, fiindc\u0103 a fost foarte \u021binut\u0103 \u00een cas\u0103 m-a l\u0103sat complet liber\u0103. \u0218i nu mi-a oferit niciun ghidaj. Iar tata fiind cu serviciul \u0219i neav\u00e2nd r\u0103bdare s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eenve\u021be, iar\u0103\u0219i, \u00eemi zicea ceva \u0219i dup\u0103 aia nu-mi oferea de fapt nicio direc\u021bie. \u0218i l\u0103s\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 liber\u0103, de fapt nici nu am avut un sprijin \u00een ei. N-am putut s\u0103 m\u0103 duc s\u0103-mi spun\u0103 ce e bine \u0219i ce-i r\u0103u sau ce a\u0219 putea s\u0103 fac. Sau cum a\u0219 putea s\u0103-mi protejez emo\u021biile. Scopul era nobil, mama zicea c\u0103 libertatea e minunat\u0103, fiindc\u0103 ea nu a avut-o \u0219i a vrut s\u0103 mi-o ofere ca pe un dar. Doar c\u0103 a fost bine c\u0103 mi-am g\u0103sit prieteni \u0219i m\u0103 jucam mult \u0219i citeam, iar pe de alt\u0103 parte n-a fost bine c\u0103 nu mi-era clar ce e bine \u0219i ce e r\u0103u, cum pot s\u0103 ajung la ce-mi propun, disciplin\u0103. <\/span><\/p>\n

Acum c\u0103 am citit ce-nseamn\u0103 bullying \u0219tiu c\u0103 f\u0103ceau mi\u0219to colegii din general\u0103 de mine \u0219i c\u00e2nd ajungeam acas\u0103 nu ziceam nim\u0103nui. Abia acum am realizat c\u0103 nu spusesem nim\u0103nui. Cred c\u0103 nu mi-am pus problema atunci sau credeam c\u0103 n-o s\u0103 fiu \u00een\u021beleas\u0103, nu \u0219tiu ce s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat de n-am spus. Sau mi se p\u0103rea normal. Nu \u0219tiu exact de ce n-am discutat cu nimeni. \u021ain minte c\u0103 asta se-nt\u00e2mpla. Colegii mei f\u0103ceau mi\u0219to de mine c\u0103 eram diferit\u0103 sau c\u0103 ar\u0103tam diferit. Cumva, nu am procesat \u00een niciun fel emo\u021biile alea. <\/span><\/p>\n

S\u0103 fi avut ei mai mult\u0103 grij\u0103 de ei. Mai mult\u0103 con\u0219tientizare. Au fost multe lucruri. Tata avea pe cineva \u0219i pleca pe furi\u0219. Poate era o idee mai bun\u0103 s\u0103 fie deschis despre asta sau s\u0103 se despart\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 am un timp cu fiecare separat, dec\u00e2t s\u0103 fie o non-rela\u021bie \u00eentre ei. Au zis s\u0103 nu se despart\u0103 ca s\u0103 nu fiu eu afectat\u0103. Nu cred c\u0103 \u0103sta era motivul. Cred c\u0103 era un pretext. Sau poate chiar a\u0219a au crezut, c\u0103 n-o s\u0103 m\u0103 afecteze. Dar cred c\u0103 pe un copil ce-l afecteaz\u0103 cel mai mult e inautenticitatea \u0219i observarea unui model \u00een cas\u0103 nefunc\u021bional. Mai degrab\u0103 s\u0103 se fi desp\u0103r\u021bit \u0219i s\u0103 fi stat cu fiecare \u00een mod egal. Au divor\u021bat c\u00e2nd aveam 15 ani \u0219i de atunci a fost o inegalitate foarte mare. Am stat mai mult cu mama dec\u00e2t cu tata. De c\u00e2nd eram mic\u0103 ei nu dormeau \u00eempreun\u0103. P\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103 se despart\u0103 eu cu tata m\u0103 vedeam mult mai des pentru c\u0103 st\u0103team \u00een aceea\u0219i cas\u0103. Apoi, chiar dac\u0103 s-a mutat aproape, nu ne-am mai v\u0103zut. Deci, practic, lucrurile au stat cam la fel \u00eentre ei, doar c\u0103 au ajuns s\u0103 stea \u00een case separate. Tata s-a c\u0103s\u0103torit \u0219i mama a avut mai multe rela\u021bii. Mama a putut cumva s\u0103 aib\u0103 \u0219i ea o rela\u021bie mai asumat. De\u0219i avusese \u0219i p\u00e2n\u0103 atunci. Dar cumva mai asumat. Ideal ar fi fost s\u0103 se despart\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 am o rela\u021bie egal\u0103 cu fiecare.<\/p>\n

Dup\u0103 ce au divor\u021bat, nu au comunicat \u00een leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu mine. Nu vorbeau s\u0103 se pun\u0103 de acord asupra educa\u021biei mele sau a parcursului meu \u00een via\u021ba \u0219i mama cumva a luat totul. Ea s-a ocupat mai mult. Cred c\u0103 oamenii care divor\u021beaz\u0103 ar fi bine s\u0103 treac\u0103 printr-un proces de terapie \u0219i \u00een\u021belegere cu copiii. S\u0103 \u00een\u021beleag\u0103 copiii c\u0103 nu e vina lor, c\u0103 nu sunt respin\u0219i. \u0218i s\u0103 petreac\u0103 timp cu fiecare \u00een mod egal, mai ales dac\u0103 sunt oameni care nu sunt toxici. Eu am tr\u0103it lucrurile astea incon\u0219tient. \u0218tiu c\u0103-mi zicea bunica c\u0103 dac\u0103 dorm cu mama nu e bine c\u0103 ei n-o s\u0103 mai doarm\u0103 \u00eempreun\u0103, deci cumva m-a f\u0103cut vinovat\u0103. Iar cu respingerea, nu cred la nivel con\u0219tient c\u0103 am fost respins\u0103 sau c\u0103 din cauza mea s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat asta. Dar e posibil incon\u0219tient s\u0103 cred. <\/span><\/p>\n

Efectele s-au v\u0103zut \u00een rela\u021bii c\u0103 am avut conflicte \u0219i desp\u0103r\u021biri. De exemplu, mereu am fost \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie, n-am putut s\u0103 stau singur\u0103. Probabil n-a fost o separare corect\u0103 acolo \u0219i am intrat \u00eentr-o dependen\u021b\u0103 de \u201dmereu cineva\u201d. Efectele pozitive sunt c\u0103 am devenit poate datorit\u0103 acestor lucruri creativ\u0103. Scriu \u0219i creez proiecte. Acum o s\u0103 fac o \u0219coal\u0103 pentru p\u0103rin\u021bi care s\u0103 ajung\u0103 s\u0103 fie mai bine cu ei, astfel \u00eenc\u00e2t copiii lor s\u0103 aib\u0103 mai multe avantaje \u00een via\u021b\u0103. O educa\u021bie emo\u021bional\u0103, fiindc\u0103 la \u0219coal\u0103 nu primim. \u00cen Rom\u00e2nia, cel pu\u021bin, nu exist\u0103 cursuri de empatie \u0219i de procesare a emo\u021biilor. <\/span><\/p>\n

Le-a\u0219 recomanda tuturor p\u0103rin\u021bilor sau celor care vor s\u0103 devin\u0103 p\u0103rin\u021bi s\u0103 mearg\u0103 la terapie, s\u0103 afle dac\u0103 nu cumva au r\u0103ni nevindecate, dac\u0103 nu cumva proiecteaz\u0103 lucruri din trecut \u00een prezent \u0219i s\u0103 \u00eenve\u021be s\u0103 r\u0103spund\u0103, nu s\u0103 reac\u021bioneze, s\u0103 iubeasc\u0103 cu adev\u0103rat, s\u0103 se conecteze emo\u021bional cu cealalt\u0103 persoan\u0103. S\u0103-i simt\u0103 nevoile, nu s\u0103 dea ce cred ei c\u0103 are nevoie, ce le-a lipsit lor.<\/span>[\/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space empty_h=”3″ mobile_visibility=”yes”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row row_height_percent=”0″ override_padding=”yes” h_padding=”2″ top_padding=”0″ bottom_padding=”5″ overlay_color=”color-xsdn” overlay_alpha=”90″ gutter_size=”3″ shift_y=”0″ row_name=”DESPRE AUTORI”][vc_column column_width_percent=”70″ overlay_alpha=”50″ gutter_size=”3″ medium_width=”0″ shift_x=”0″ shift_y=”0″ z_index=”0″ width=”1\/1″][vc_column_text]<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 dori\u021bi s\u0103 participa\u021bi la acest proiect,\u00a0scrie\u021bi un email la adresa andrei.pungovschi@gmail.com<\/a><\/span><\/h3>\n

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DESPRE AUTOR<\/span><\/h1>\n

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Andrei Pungovschi<\/strong> este fotojurnalist freelancer. \u00cen 2006 a petrecut un an la University of Missouri, unde a studiat fotojurnalism.\u00a0Din 2007 este fotograf colaborator al agen\u021biei France Presse \u00een Rom\u00e2nia. Este parte a echipei Dec\u00e2t O Revist\u0103 de la \u00eenceputul publica\u021biei, \u00een calitate de fotograf \u0219i editor foto.<\/p>\n

Imaginile sale au ap\u0103rut \u00een diverse publica\u021bii str\u0103ine, printre care The New York Times, The Guardian, S\u00fcddeutsche Zeitung, Esquire Romania, The Associated Press.\u00a0<\/span>Din 2007, a predat c\u00e2\u021biva ani fotojurnalism, sub forma unor cursuri la Centrul pentru Jurnalism Independent \u0219i Dec\u00e2t O Revist\u0103, sau a unor workshop-uri. <\/span>\u00cen 2011, a fost c\u00e2\u0219tig\u0103torul unei burse de la Funda\u021bia Rosalynn Carter, \u00een urma c\u0103reia a realizat un proiect despre costurile sociale ale anxiet\u0103\u021bii.<\/span><\/p>\n

Fotografiile sale au fost premiate la concursuri interna\u021bionale, printre care Pictures of The Year International, National Press Photographers Association, The Missouri Press Association, \u00een SUA, BursaPhotoFest \u00een Turcia.<\/span><\/p>\n

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ABONARE NEWSLETTER\u00a0<\/span><\/h1>\n

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