{"id":45380,"date":"2018-04-05T12:15:48","date_gmt":"2018-04-05T12:15:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.documentaria.ro\/content\/?p=45380"},"modified":"2019-03-26T11:07:31","modified_gmt":"2019-03-26T11:07:31","slug":"erau-si-ei-tineri-4-documentaria","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.documentaria.ro\/content\/archives\/45380","title":{"rendered":"ERAU \u0218I EI TINERI 4 \/ DOCUMENTARIA"},"content":{"rendered":"

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ERAU \u0218I EI TINERI<\/span><\/h2>\n
fotografii \u0219i interviu de Andrei Pungovschi<\/span><\/h5>\n

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Dac\u0103 ai sta de vorb\u0103 cu p\u0103rin\u021bii\u00a0t\u0103i tineri, ce ai schimba la cum te-au crescut?<\/em><\/p>\n

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Miruna, 32 de ani, scriitoare \u0219i cercet\u0103toare \u00een \u0219tiin\u021be politice. Bucure\u0219ti, aprilie 2018.<\/span><\/h3>\n

Mama era profesoar\u0103 \u0219i s-a \u00eentors foarte repede la job dup\u0103 ce m-a n\u0103scut. A\u0219a erau toate mamele, nu era alegerea ei. Am fost trimis\u0103 la bunici la \u021bar\u0103. De aici, versiunea idilic\u0103, ai tr\u0103it la \u021bar\u0103, lapte, br\u00e2nz\u0103, \u00een natur\u0103. Da, a fost o copil\u0103rie idilic\u0103 \u0219i-a lipsit un singur ingredient, prezen\u021ba p\u0103rin\u021bilor. Care, sigur, se manifesta prin vizite o dat\u0103 la c\u00e2teva luni, prin vorbit la telefon.<\/p>\n

Una din primele mele amintiri din perioada aia este o atitudine violent\u0103 a ei asupra mea, cert\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 c\u0103 nu-i spun \u201cmam\u0103\u201d. De ce nu m\u0103 strigi \u201cmam\u0103\u201d? Spune-mi \u201cmam\u0103\u201d! Iar eu aveam reac\u021bii: ce vrea de la mine, de ce s\u0103-i zic a\u0219a? Mie mi se p\u0103rea c\u0103 e o non-problem\u0103. Efectiv, nu \u00een\u021belegeam de ce. \u0218i ea era sup\u0103rat\u0103, bosumflat\u0103, cred c\u0103 nici n-a mai vorbit cu mine. \u0218i toat\u0103 lumea din jur m\u0103 certa, inclusiv bunica mea, bunic\u0103 fa\u021b\u0103 de care eu aveam adev\u0103ratul ata\u0219ament emo\u021bional. Cred c\u0103 ne\u00een\u021belegerea asta a ei de atunci, care s-a manifestat visceral, dup-aia, de-a lungul v\u00e2rstelor noastre, \u0219i-a mea, \u0219i-a ei, a c\u0103p\u0103tat alte forme. Cer\u00e2ndu-mi s\u0103 m\u0103 comport ca o fiic\u0103 dedicat\u0103, whatever that means, \u0219i eu tot timpul cu nedumerirea \u201cdar de ce-mi ceri asta?\u201d. Cred c\u0103 \u00een timpul terapiei am reu\u0219it s\u0103 desfac pu\u021bin tensiunea asta \u0219i s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg de unde venea.<\/p>\n

P\u0103i, stai, frate, c\u0103 \u0219apte ani de zile, p\u00e2n\u0103 am venit \u00een clasa \u00eent\u00e2i, tu erai un fel de m\u0103tu\u0219\u0103 de la ora\u0219, care tot timpul venea cu rochi\u021be, cu dulciuri, dar \u00eemi pierdeam interesul dup\u0103 cinci minute dup\u0103 vizita de la Bucure\u0219ti. Trecerea asta de la \u021bar\u0103 la Bucure\u0219ti s-a f\u0103cut foarte, foarte brusc. Cumva, mult\u0103 vreme am avut senza\u021bia c\u0103 sunt \u00eentr-o tab\u0103r\u0103, \u00eentr-o vizit\u0103 la ni\u0219te rude bogate de la Bucure\u0219ti, unde primeam Cola, Pepsi, chestii, dar cam at\u00e2t. \u0218i de aici cred dorin\u021ba aia foarte mare de evaziune. De-abia a\u0219teptam vacan\u021ba, pentru c\u0103 \u00eensemna c\u0103 plec la \u021bar\u0103.<\/p>\n

Asta dup-aia s-a manifestat ca adolescent\u0103 c\u00e2nd am fugit de acas\u0103. Ulterior, am f\u0103cut o leg\u0103tur\u0103. Fuga aia de acas\u0103, c\u00e2teva nop\u021bi, la bunicii mei din Bucure\u0219ti. N-am anun\u021bat pe nimeni, am rugat-o pe bunica s\u0103 nu zic\u0103 nimic. Asta cumva era tot un semnal de alarm\u0103 c\u0103 nu m\u0103 simt acas\u0103, c\u0103 nu era ok ceva acolo. Rezultatul acelei fugi a fost din nou violen\u021ba c\u0103tre mine. Tu nu e\u0219ti o fiic\u0103, tu nu \u0219tii s\u0103 te compor\u021bi ca o fiic\u0103, tu nu faci, tu nu dregi. Iar\u0103\u0219i nedumerirea mea. Cu ce-am gre\u0219it, cum ar fi trebuit s\u0103 m\u0103 comport, ce-ar fi trebuit s\u0103 fac?<\/p>\n

Sfatul pe care l-a\u0219 da am\u00e2ndurora, pentru c\u0103 am\u00e2ndoi sunt profesori, ar fi s\u0103 aib\u0103 mult mai mult\u0103 grij\u0103 \u0219i aten\u021bie la a desp\u0103r\u021bi pozi\u021bia de autoritate din timpul zilei, de la \u0219coal\u0103, \u0219i pozi\u021bia de acas\u0103. Cred c\u0103 am\u00e2ndoi, \u00een feluri diferite, n-au f\u0103cut asta. \u0218i-au prelungit pozi\u021bia de autoritate acas\u0103, \u00een verificarea temelor, \u00een presiunea constant\u0103 pe rezultate. Cred c\u0103 la un moment dat mama \u00eemi vorbea efectiv cu acela\u0219i limbaj ca \u0219i copiilor de la dirigen\u021bie, \u00een sistemul de premiere \u0219i de pedeaps\u0103 \u0219i a\u0219a mai departe. Chestia asta a ad\u0103ugat pr\u0103pastiei \u0103leia destul de mari care s-a creat \u00een cei \u0219apte ani de acas\u0103. Orice \u00eencercare de a vorbi cu ei acum despre asta se termin\u0103 cu un refuz \u0219i cu ideea: \u201cDar cum, ia uit\u0103-te la tinerii din ziua de azi, c\u00e2\u021bi nu \u0219i-ar dori s\u0103 tr\u0103iasc\u0103 la \u021bar\u0103? Ai fost o super fericit\u0103\u201d. Privind din exterior, a\u0219a este, dar emo\u021bional vorbind, a fost o povar\u0103 destul de mare, pentru c\u0103 a trebuit s\u0103 m\u0103 trezesc la \u0219apte ani s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021b s\u0103 am de a face cu ni\u0219te p\u0103rin\u021bi care se mai \u0219i a\u0219teapt\u0103 la chestii de la mine. \u0218i a\u0219tept\u0103rile astea, pe care nu mi le-au explicat niciodat\u0103, nu mi le-au contextualizat niciodat\u0103, ele erau mereu acolo, evident m-au f\u0103cut s\u0103 am o foarte sc\u0103zut\u0103 \u00eencredere \u00een mine \u0219i tot timpul aproape s\u0103 cer voie tuturor celor din jur pentru chestii pe care le fac.<\/p>\n

Prima dat\u0103 m-a \u0219ocat c\u00e2nd am plecat cu bursa Erasmus, student\u0103 la 23 de ani, \u00een Austria, m-am mutat \u00eentr-un apartament \u00eenchiriat, cu mai multe fete. La un moment dat, pur \u0219i simplu-mi ceream voie compulsiv. Pot s\u0103 pun asta aici, pot s\u0103 str\u00e2ng asta, pot s\u0103 pun scaunul la loc? Cumva, o form\u0103 de polite\u021be care nu se mai justifica. Una dintre ele, o finlandez\u0103, mi-a tr\u00e2ntit-o destul de brutal, dar cu ocazia asta mi-am dat \u0219i eu seama. \u201cCe-\u021bi tot ceri, frate, at\u00e2ta scuze? Las\u0103-ne-n pace! Po\u021bi s\u0103 ne ceri voie dac\u0103 dai o petrecere la cinci diminea\u021ba \u0219i bubuie ferestrele, dar nu-mi ceri voie c\u0103 pui scaunul la loc.\u201d Cred c-am \u0219i pl\u00e2ns atunci, m-am dus \u00een camer\u0103 \u0219i dup-aia mi-am dat seama. Da, cer voie pentru multe chestii. La \u0219coal\u0103, la fel.<\/p>\n

Cred c\u0103 scindarea asta \u00eentre o tip\u0103 foarte conformist\u0103 – eram aia cu zece pe linie – validarea total\u0103, de note, de teme, venind pe baza presiunilor \u0219i a\u0219tept\u0103rilor lor, dar care r\u0103bufnea \u0219i \u00een rebela care s-a manifestat doar de c\u00e2teva ori.<\/p>\n

\u00cens\u0103 formele astea de rebeliune au fost destul de extreme. Fuga de acas\u0103, am mai avut la un moment dat la BAC ni\u0219te amenin\u021b\u0103ri cu suicid, c\u0103 am luat 9,80. La un moment dat, m-a sunat mama \u0219i, numai a\u0219a, din r\u0103utate, i-am zis: \u201cSunt pe malul lacului \u0219i-am luat 9,80 \u0219i nu pot s\u0103 accept asta\u201d. \u0218i am f\u0103cut-o s\u0103 sune a tentativ\u0103 de sinucidere. Am avut media general\u0103 la BAC 9,98. N-am ie\u0219it din cas\u0103 o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103, pl\u00e2nsete. Reac\u021bia mea li s-a p\u0103rut ciudat\u0103, \u0219i ar fi putut s\u0103 le dea de g\u00e2ndit, s\u0103 fie un moment de r\u0103gaz pentru ei, s\u0103 se \u00eentrebe de ce reac\u021bionez a\u0219a, \u0219i s\u0103 o \u00eendrepte pu\u021bin \u0219i c\u0103tre ei \u00een\u0219i\u0219i. Dar \u00eentotdeauna momentele astea de reflec\u021bie erau \u00eendreptate c\u0103tre mine. \u201cE\u0219ti exagerat\u0103, e\u0219ti ciudat\u0103, de ce faci a\u0219a?\u201d Chestii care-mi ad\u00e2nceau \u0219i mai mult ne\u00eencrederea \u00een mine. Obsesia asta de validare. Nu cred c-au f\u0103cut-o inten\u021bionat. Tata niciodat\u0103 nu mi-a zis: \u201cB\u0103i, dac\u0103 iei zece, \u00ee\u021bi cump\u0103r nu \u0219tiu ce.\u201d Niciodat\u0103. Dar a fost ceva sub\u00een\u021beles, mai ales c\u0103 fra\u021bii mei luau note mici \u0219i eu trebuia s\u0103 sp\u0103l toat\u0103 ru\u0219inea. Eram adesea comparat\u0103 cu ei \u00een sensul \u0103sta. \u201cTu ai note mari, e\u0219ti unde trebuie.\u201d S\u0103-i umileasc\u0103 pe ei. Compara\u021bia asta constant\u0103 \u00een sine cred c-a fost o problem\u0103.<\/p>\n

Am mai avut o burs\u0103 doctoral\u0103 la 25-26 de ani, \u00een Germania \u0219i \u0219i-acolo via\u021b\u0103 de noapte, nebunie, s\u0103 nu \u0219tiu unde sunt, s\u0103 nu \u0219tiu cu cine merg, cumva toate acele chestii pentru care \u0219tiam c\u0103 nu trebuie s\u0103 cer voie nim\u0103nui. Extremismele astea eu le-a\u0219 pune pe seama acelor probleme \u0219i a autoritarismului lor \u0219i al a\u0219tept\u0103rilor care nu erau formulate. Nu mi se spunea trebuie s\u0103 iei zece. Dar asociam tonului lor profesoral de acas\u0103 aceea\u0219i atitudine pe care o ai fa\u021b\u0103 de un profesor. Dac\u0103 \u00eenve\u021bi bine, \u0219i-\u021bi faci tema, \u0219i iei zece, it\u2019s ok. \u00cen cazul \u0103sta eu ad\u0103ugam \u201cm\u0103 iube\u0219te\u201d. Iau zece, fac bine, \u0219i m\u0103 iube\u0219te.<\/p>\n

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Dac\u0103 dori\u021bi s\u0103 participa\u021bi la acest proiect,\u00a0scrie\u021bi un email la adresa andrei.pungovschi@gmail.com<\/a><\/span><\/h3>\n

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DESPRE AUTOR<\/span><\/h1>\n

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Andrei Pungovschi<\/strong> este fotojurnalist freelancer. \u00cen 2006 a petrecut un an la University of Missouri, unde a studiat fotojurnalism.\u00a0Din 2007 este fotograf colaborator al agen\u021biei France Presse \u00een Rom\u00e2nia. Este parte a echipei Dec\u00e2t O Revist\u0103 de la \u00eenceputul publica\u021biei, \u00een calitate de fotograf \u0219i editor foto.<\/p>\n

Imaginile sale au ap\u0103rut \u00een diverse publica\u021bii str\u0103ine, printre care The New York Times, The Guardian, S\u00fcddeutsche Zeitung, Esquire Romania, The Associated Press.\u00a0<\/span>Din 2007, a predat c\u00e2\u021biva ani fotojurnalism, sub forma unor cursuri la Centrul pentru Jurnalism Independent \u0219i Dec\u00e2t O Revist\u0103, sau a unor workshop-uri. <\/span>\u00cen 2011, a fost c\u00e2\u0219tig\u0103torul unei burse de la Funda\u021bia Rosalynn Carter, \u00een urma c\u0103reia a realizat un proiect despre costurile sociale ale anxiet\u0103\u021bii.<\/span><\/p>\n

Fotografiile sale au fost premiate la concursuri interna\u021bionale, printre care Pictures of The Year International, National Press Photographers Association, The Missouri Press Association, \u00een SUA, BursaPhotoFest \u00een Turcia.<\/span><\/p>\n

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ABONARE NEWSLETTER\u00a0<\/span><\/h1>\n

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